i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
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