I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
Randomize
