No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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