I am puke
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Randomize
