The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
