just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Randomize
