she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Randomize
