I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
