i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
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