i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Randomize
