Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
fuck your aforementioned shoe
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
Randomize
