i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
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