Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
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