On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
her vagine was all disorganized.
if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
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