he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
Can vaginas get frostbite?
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
Randomize
