he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Randomize
