sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
Randomize
