Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
Randomize
