There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
smell my finger.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
