I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
Randomize
