Pants 0. Shit 1.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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