i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Randomize
