just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
