the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
Randomize
