I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
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