SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
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