I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Randomize
