grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
Two words: blizzard sex
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
Randomize
