Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
