I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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