He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
Of course I have a pirate flag
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
