At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
Last time i carry you out of a forest
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
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