have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
Reggie can tackle my bush.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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