dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Randomize
