i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
