Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
