Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
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