There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
Randomize
