you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
Pants are for mortals
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
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