I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
