pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
Randomize
