Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
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