your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
True strength comes from lack of pants
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
Randomize
