My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Randomize
