I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
Randomize
