I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
Randomize
