I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
The air taste purple.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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