Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
Randomize
