Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Randomize
