Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
Randomize
