Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
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