My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
